Beautiful boys

Another first today, we all went shopping for Alex's wedding suit, when I saw Alex & Seb in their suits together I burst into tears, OMG my boys are men! Not sure I'll have dry eyes through out the wedding, it will be a lovely occasion and moving. My baby boy as a man & husband, standing along side his big brother as best man. Oh well I'm sure it will be fantastic, another step in my life's journey.

Still to buy my outfit, I know the mother of the groom isn't as special as mother of the bride, but that's my roll, I always new that. But today was special, lovely and we did it all together. Priceless, I'm a lucky lady, I love them all to bits.

Blogs and house plants

Blogs and house plants! I'm so bad after looking after both, but they are both quiet, don't ask anything of me, it would help if they would shout and ask to be fed. So here I am lying on another hotel bed on my own, I'm in Dublin for the next two days with work then off to Belfast. Getting kinda sick of being away all the time, it certainly makes the weeks go quickly, but that's because I'm living for the weekend.

So another year another Eurovision and OMG how I used to love Engelbert Humperdink, when I was 8 yrs old but now! No way. What has the Eurovision sunk to, it's not bad enough we loose but don't send a very old CONNIE out to represent us. I will have to watch to see the mess unravel, might be entertaining, no hang on, I've got a life, I'm just. Owning in the para above I don't get much time off, why waste it on the Eurovision.

What's worse is I'm blogging about it, oh shut up Jacky

I've failed

Oh so what was going to be so easy, offering your home & life to your patents, so there life was easier and in the reach of everyone that loved them. But, hey some people don't want that, guess their afraid of giving in, letting others care for them, perhaps admitting that they are now not the big man they once were.

So as you can guess it all went wrong! What started slowely as let's look at the options, explore the benefits well this sales women failed to sell ice to Eskimos this time. Dad was having none of it. He started in a huge negative bubble which just grew and grew, even if I agreed I was wrong, if I disagreed I was so wrong, there is a point when you go ok but hey that wasn't even enough for him. He had to say such hurtful things that I had listened to on too many occasions, I'm selfish, take too much interest in my job and wasted my time with not offering any help to him and he didn't know why I was there. Quote "I don't know why you bothered coming, you haven't done anything you said you would, all your interested in is your job and shopping, you should not of come". So all the shopping to buy mums clothes at his request, packing and sorting wardrobes, clearing the loft, cooking, cleaning, washing etc etc if that's me being selfish then it's time to say goodbye. Every conversation is an argument, but I didnt bite, I kept my mouth shut, but heard too much.

I just kissed him and said " you've hurt someone who loves you for the last time, goodbye"

But as I now sit in a hotel room crying my eyes out all I can remember is mum, her confused
face and asking why I was leaving, I kissed her and said I loved her and would see her again"
She will be upset, but tomorrow not remember, she won't even know who I am, that's a stab in the heart, she asked me today if I had any babies!!

BuT the memory will stay with me forever, as I try and type this through blurred tears I just hope that one day I will be able to take care of her, even if she doesn't know who I am, I will know.


At least type doesn't smudge from tears xxxxx

Next challenge

Well it's time to fly over to the states, pack mum & dad up and bring them home. It isn't going to be easy, and dad is finding Every excuse under the sun not to come home, but he do needs to be cared for. I totally understand that he feels it's giving in, resigning yourself that you are actually old, but I get so worried about them on their own. It's not going to be roses, and the next few months, years are going to be expensive and hard, but at least we will all be together. Oh and just as Rich and I were enjoying our time together.

Mum bless doesn't understand, I'm abit nervous of taking her on the plane, I will have to help her relax with a little drug therapy.

So fingers crossed, pull up those flight socks and get on with the job in hand.

Ohhhhh dear xxxxxxx

I feel like poo!

Yet another cold come flu, whatever. I'm sick of feeling poo, I slept all da yesterday, that's the first time in ages that I've stayed in bed, just felt terrible and could not drag myself out of bed. It's amazing that when your unwell how you can just snuggle up in bed and let the world pass you buy, and you don't care.

We still have masses of snow, and now it's snowed again the snow has been snowed on, it's so cold that when you walk on the snow it's crunchy, not crisp and soft, all hard and Icey!
I think I would like to be a bear and hibernate all winter, especially as bears hibernating dont need the loo. Now that would be fab, never getting up in the night to go to the loo.

Oh well guess I'm stuck as a human and will have to snuggle on sofa with hubbie instead, oh he's asleep all ready :(

Winters arrived

Theres something really nice waking up on the first snow day, pulling back the curtains and seeing a blanket of snow over everything. It brings childhood memories of the excitement of a fun day, building snowmen, snowball fights, cold wet hands, stinging faces and chapped lips, hang on, from memory it wasn't that much fun now I think of it. But, hey back to good feelings, a sudden urge to phone work already and say I'm snowed in until March, well it's the age of etechnology now I can really try it out. I mean do I really need to get up early tomorrow, dig the car out, could do it today but it might snow again! Stand at a cold drafty Tain station waiting for a delayed train, getting too hot while standing all the way to London. So yes, I'm going to embrace the etechnology, I might even webex my meeting tomorrow, and stay at home in the warm.


So anyway on with Sunday, hubbie snuggled next to me on the sofa, might finish off the Christmas chocolates and watch a few films. Good times xxxx

Mum & Dad's

Well the next cycle of life has begun, I'm now faced with parents problems. Care homes, nursing homes, retirement flats or just a bungalow, just as Seb has moved out and Roch and I can spread our selves out in the house, my patents are filling the void. Don't get me wrong it's not their fault and I love them to bits but please just a few years of excersing the benefits of being an adult before I start crumbling myself, before I know it Seb will be looking out for me. But I wanted to walk around the house naked, well if I felt like it! I want to put on my pjs at dinner time, choose what I want to watch on the telly, turn the music up and pogo round the lounge if I feel like it. Get drunk in the afternoon and eat chocolates for dinner and bonk Richard on the kitchen floor while burning the dinner! but oh no stop, that aint going to happen. My next role has begun, carer of the crumblies, manager of their move to the UK and seller of their house, not to mention medical arranger.

Sorry I don't mean to moan, and I wouldnt have it any other way, I love them to bits and it might sound sad but I am looking forward to them being a bigger part in my life. It's just fuled with fears of acting like a teenager again as I have spent all my adult life with my parents in the USA, and I suppose with the realisation that we are all getting older and nearer to the end!

Well I will enjoy time with them, oh to pop in on my way home from work for a cup of tea, simple every day things I've never had the chance to do, so I will make new memories, memories to treasure

Work work work and friends!

Ok now the year has started with a bang, and great big work bang. Away from home, living in hotels and flying around the UK. If that wasn't bad enough someone has nicked (sorry Americanise speakers)stollen my easyJet speedy boarding label for my suitcase and the business lounge was closed at the airport. In the great scheme of things that's really pathetic isn't it, and of that's all I have to complain about I am really a shallow cow.

I have nothing to moan about in my life, great friends going through some really awful times, things I can't imagine coping with, and I wish I could spend more time helping them and giving them my love and support. But work just gets in the way, and I'm sorry for not being there. But please know my love goes to you all, and you are always in my thoughts.

Love you x

Beaten by a better team

Ok, so my first visit to a football match and the team I want to win loose by 4:0 lol what can I say, obviously they do not need my support! But what a fab adventure, a lovely day out with good friends, a lovely Italian meal in a fab little Italian restaurant, then off to the match to see Portsmouth get beaten then in to the pub for a few glasses of wine and then home with my lovely. It was a great day, one of the best, and must be remembered.

So what's this week got to offer me, work, work, work and away from Rich, not good! I'm getting a bit fed up with being away from home, I need to reorganise my diary, and get home more. It's strange that now the kids have finially left home it's lovely being at home with Rich, I don't want to end up night after night in hotels, I don't care how nice they are, I would rather be at home. So guess I've got to do some planing and ensure I can get home more.

That's nice though, after nearly 30 years of marriage I would rather be with Rich than anyone else, guess I've got a goodenn best keep him to myself, not into sharing. Just love him to bits.

Hope your as lucky xxx

At last its Friday!



And I'm going to make the most of it, visiting friends, shopping, eating, going to the pub and something I've never done before, I'm going to a Football match !!!! Chelsea V Portsmouth. I'm a bit scared, I have no idea what to expect, at least I do know they both wear blue. Gosh that makes me sound like an idiot and shallow, the only thing I know about football is what they wear!! My images of a football match has been tainted by a book I read called Smoothies, it was about a gang of young kids who would go down to Fulham for a kicking, all tooled up! nice. And the newspapers with pictures of fighting yobs.

But as I'm going with Professor Richard and his family I think it will just be a fun day out, with masses of wine & Italian food, not really soccor huligans, thank goodness.

Love xxx



Who has my brain?

Help it's gone, someone has stollen my brain, or I've sneezed and lost it! I do not know how I managed to function today, my brain was replaced by cotton wool, and there was no connection from mouth to ears, oh I was crap. Talk about bullshit, I think I should get a phd in BUll SHIT as thats all I talk these days. I was so bad I put off a long drive to Liverpool as know one on the M6 would be safe, and tomorrow's training session would of been pants!

Why does that happen, a normal functioning human is replaced by an idiot, now that would be good on your absence sheet at work, 'Replaced in sleep by a body snatcher, now a blithering idiot' how long would you have off work for that? How long does it take for your brain to restart, or perhaps it's just it goes offline and has a temporary error message. Now that would be a much better excuse " synapse error, will be offline for the foreseeable future , please contact IT services". Hummmm that even makes me sound intelligent!

But, ok i will stop moaning, it's only a cold, hey it could be worse I could have man flu! Opps I'm not a man I'm a girl, I don't qualify xxxxxxxxxxxx

Day 3 and 'BACK AT WORK'

OMG when my alarm woke me at 6:30 this morning it was pitch black, pouring with rain and the wind howling, I felt sure my phone had gone mad. Isn't it bad enough to get up early after a holiday but to extreme weather conditions, frankly that's taking the **** and the joys of standing at Stevenage Railway Station in the wind and rain waiting for a computer train, a stark jolt back to reality, not to mention the travesty of my wild hairstyle!

It's ok it got better, a jumper on the tube meant delays and over crowding, that's it no more moaning! I'm boring myself.

Oh the joys of eating up all your work colleagues Christmas treats, so much for starting a new year diet, I now know why lent is so good. But on a quick audit of chocky stocks held by Rich & I think we will need 40 weeks before any dieting can start. Never mind after 4 weeks away from the gym, Alan our trainer has told us we have banked oodles of extra training days in the gym, so at least we can work off all the extra chocks we have to eat.

What a dicotame, having a stash of chocolate and masses of gym sessions!!!

Two days into 2012

Oh what a fab start, Rich asked me at 11am when I was tucked up in my duvet in my fluffy over large pjs what did I want to do today and I said "I'm doing it!" so there are I stayed, snoozing until 2pm, watching our new flat screen 3D TV, Rich scoured the Internet for streaming 3D porn!!!! But hey the price for living in the countryside is poor internet connection, hehehe.

Never mind Rich perhaps 3D porn will go on sale soon in those smutty little shops you like :)

So after dragging myself from my pit I ended up on the sofa, watching a cheesy Christmas movie hoovering up the remains of the Christmas treats, one large tin of celebrations and a tin of quality street. Well I have to give my trainer a nice big challenge, so my wobbly thighs, and expanding waist line will be at his mercy from tomorrow night, and the regime of reshape Jacky starts again. Oh for the two weeks of Christmas I've binged on chocolate, toffees, biscuits, cake and any other banned substance I can get my hands on, so now it's rehab for my sweet tooth. Wonder if they do patches for that !!


Lots of love xxxx

New Year 2012

Well another new year, oh please please be better than last year.

So far it's been great, a lovely New Year Eve's mini party in the Rising Sun, turned into Cafe Rene with all the locals dressed as Allo Allo characters. I was Michelle, Richard was Lft Castairs of course, sporting official moustache and flying goggles. Daphne went as Grandma, I mocked up a bed for her. It was a lovely evening with locals and friends, we welcomed in the new year with bubbles and songs. Then lite chinese lanterns with special messages on them. I wrote a message to Andrew, but it was difficult to get it alight, when it eventually did it Flew into a tree, and the tree caught fire, that's says it all Andrew is staying with me, god bless him. It made me cry, and remember how sad I felt last year, as it was a year to the day we heard the news that Andrew had cancer. But despite my sadness it was a lovely evening, I really enjoyed myself, but ended up sleeping on the floor as my bed was spinning.

The first day of the new year was fabulous, we went to Tony & Val's for lunch with all the old crowd. Oh it was lovely to see everyone, 4 generations from Val's mum to Saddie, Gemma's beautiful daughter. How lucky I feel to have such special friends, and it makes me realise how I must make time for my friends in my busy life. So we've decided to make a dinner date night once a month to ensure we make time for each other. As we all know friendship is like growing plants, leave them alone they wither and die, feed them, talk to them and spend time with them they grow into something beautiful that you love.