How do you carry on?

Well after saying goodbye in a fleeting cuddle, kiss and I love you, I broke my heart. Oh I know very English..... Keeping it together, stiff upper lip etc but I figured a whaling scene was not good and certainly not help my little brother. Now how do I carry on, miles away, job, family etc. My heart is screaming stop, but I know I must keep going. I'm frightened that if everything is too normal I may forget, I don't want to forget. That smile, the laughing eyes and always being there in the background. I've always had a brother don't know how to do it without one...love you xx